Dear Sister,
Let’s set the scene: You’re surrounded by people. Everyone is trendy, sipping overpriced matcha, and talking about their latest yoga class or app start-up. And yet, despite all this buzz, you’re out here thinking, “Why does it feel like I’m auditioning for friendships on a reality show?” Welcome to big-city life—where friendships are as elusive as a text back from that guy you swore you were vibing with on Hinge.
But let’s be real: maybe part of the struggle is that you’re not even sure what lights you up anymore. If you’re stuck in the “Netflix-and-overthink” cycle, soul desires gathering dust, let’s shake things up. Because here’s the thing: prioritizing yourself and what makes you feel alive is the only way to call in those soul-deep friendships. And no, I’m not talking about that fifth round of bar-hopping to “maybe meet someone cool” who just ends up talking about crypto.
So, how do we pivot from swiping and small talk to soulful connections? Here’s how:
Step 1: Ditch the Noise and Tune Into You
First up, let’s get back to the basics—what sets your soul on fire? When was the last time you belly-laughed or felt truly alive (no, not from caffeine)? Take yourself on a solo date, journal like a poet in a rom-com montage, or sit in a park pretending you’re the main character—whatever it takes to uncover what you’ve been missing. Spoiler: It’s probably not late-night scrolling.
Step 2: Put Yourself Out There (Like, Really Out There)
Okay, now that you’re reacquainted with your own fabulousness, find places that align with what you love. Think women’s circles, dance classes, pottery workshops—spaces where you can meet people who are also done with the surface-level stuff. And hey, walk in like you’re auditioning for the role of “New Favorite Friend,” because spoiler alert: you probably are.
Step 3: Be the Hostess with the Mostest
Still not finding the vibe you’re craving? Girl, create it. Host a moon circle, organize a book swap, or throw a cozy tea party with mismatched mugs and no pretense. Sometimes, calling in your tribe means becoming the gathering point.
Step 4: Play the Long Game
Here’s the unsexy truth: friendships take time. No one becomes a soul sister after one coffee chat. Keep showing up. Be consistent. And yes, that means texting first sometimes (even if it goes against your sacred code of “let them come to me”).
One Last Thought…
Making friends in adulthood is like dating—but for people who don’t ghost. And while it’s tempting to keep chasing the instant-gratification highs of dating apps or “fun nights out,” the real magic is in prioritizing your soul over the noise. The more you align with your true self, the more you’ll attract those ride-or-die connections you’re dreaming of.
So, tell me—what’s been your biggest friendship struggle lately? Or, better yet, what’s the last thing you did just for you? Hit reply and let’s swap stories.
